Tuesday, January 20, 2009

And so it begins...

Even I have to admit that this, is quite a sight. I can't lie, it's a bitter-sweet moment - but a moment - nevertheless.

6 comments:

Clifton said...

LOL....If the moment got you just a little caught up it must have been big. Deb, they got me for about 24 hours but I am back focused.

Deb said...

Hey Cliff!!!...Yeah man, it was weird! As I sat in my warm living room about 12 blocks away and watched him take that oath, and then him and Michelle getting out of that car to walk a couple blocks, I couldn't help feeling, "Damn, this could have really been a defining moment - if I honestly felt they gave a damn!" But I don't feel it, so it lasted about 24 hours for me too! :-)

After that though, I've been dealing with an overwhelming feeling of - loss! Not "loss" as in my candidate lost, but "loss" as in a part of my cultural heritage has died, replaced, worse yet, with a totally co-opted narrative. Does that make any sense?

I've been trying to write a post about it ever since. Hard, hard, hard!

I need to get back to being focused my damn self!

ea said...

Didn't see any of it. Have neither desire nor curiosity to see any of it.

I'll be brave and express what I honestly feel. It hurts me. To know that so many people let themselves be repeatedly taken in by...what? Is it emotion? Is it fear? Is it ignorance? It is like this country thinks all it has to do is wish really hard and everything will be all right. Don't have to change what we do or ever admit anything we do is ever wrong or harmful.

It hurts me to know that good people who fight injustice and who demonstrate personal responsiblity and integrity (not just say it is something other people need) are not valued or, worse, belittled and ridiculed.

Deb said...

ea...Why "brave" if that's how you really feel? "It hurts me" speaks directly, that works for me!

You said, "To know that so many people let themselves be repeatedly taken in by...what? Is it emotion? Is it fear? Is it ignorance?

I can only answer for me. For 24hours which includes the time he said, "I could no more disown him than I could disown my white grandmother..." or something like that, it was all emotion for me.

Emotion, because I'm a Black daughter of the American South whose slave ancestors from the west coast of Africa "grew" the Sea Islands of SC into great wealth for white plantation owners who could care less what they felt or thought.

Emotion, because I'm a child of the Civil Rights movement who remembers "Colored" water fountains, sitting in the "Colored" balcony at the movies, going to "Colored" Catholic school, being spat on by white boys as I sat in the back of the city bus and a quaking-in-my-boots fear of the KKK. But for 24 hours - it appeared it had been righted.

And then, I snapped the hell out of it.

What set in then was a real sense of fear that it's only going to get worse for "good people who fight injustice and who demonstrate personal responsiblity and integrity", a deep feeling of loss of a cultural identity being invalidaated and revised not only by whites, but by other Blacks and yes, a deep hurt, for all the reasons you gave - and then some.

ea said...

I think you found the start of your next post.

Deb said...

Starts and stops - as I work through this.

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